Monday, October 6, 2008

I thought I knew love

I thought I knew love. I do know love but now it comes in a different form. I am in love with my husband. He's an amazing support system and he makes me feel worthy. I battle with my self-worth but with Randy, he lifts me up.

So this different form of love, I call it motherhood. I was told you never know how much you can love someone until you have a child. I look at Hailey and I want to cry. Even when she's crying and won't go to sleep. I stare at her and can't believe she's mine. She is so gorgeous and I am in total awe. I love being at home with her and it makes me want to be a stay at home mom more and more. Unfortunately that's not financially possible.

Randy is a great father, even though he doesn't think it, he really is. Of course I have had my sleep-deprived, post-partum hormonal moments which I have taken out on him but he takes it with such grace. He nodds his head, says he's sorry and kisses my forehead. He's amazing with Hailey and he is totally in love. She has him wrapped around her finger and she's barely 7 weeks old.

Right now I am sitting next to the baby monitor. Hailey is not wanting to go to sleep but he's keeping his patience and talking to her. I know he wants her to sleep so bad but he continues to sooth her. I don't think he knows I have the monitor on.

Motherhood is a great thing to be a part of. After the miscarriage, the premature birth, 4 weeks spent in the NICU I am finally feeling a part of this new club. It's a lifetime membership and I am proud to be a part of it.

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