Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mommy Wars: Parenting Styles

I never really thought about parenting styles when I was pregnant. And I don't really think of them now. I have never read a single parenting book either. I couldn't tell you where I get my parenting "theories" from, I just have them. And I don't really need a book to help me label it. I have a degree in Psychology with a minor in Child Development. That's about all I can give you.

But recently I have been thinking about it ever since there was some talk of it amongst a group of women I socialize with. There seemed to be some tension between two sides of parenting styles. I never really put together the controversy around it before but I guess it's there along with all the others.

I never really put a label on myself. As a matter of fact, I hate labels. I claimed independent on my political voting ballot because I refuse to consider myself Republican or Democrat. It's just such a big label and saying I am one or the other sets a huge stage. I am bits of both put together.

So if I were to read each and every style, I can probably find aspects of each that I use.

I guess this is why I do not follow a particular parenting style to the T. And I can't really describe what mine is. I will not follow a parenting style religiously and to be honest I don't understand why some do. It's way too much pressure. Parenting is hard enough without having some strict rules to follow in order to be considered a certain style. And I really feel it kind of promotes judgement amongst each other.

"OMG, you don't wear your baby every where you go?... you use a stroller?? That's so against the rules!!" "You are such a hippie mom" Sorry I don't mean to make fun but I am never the follower type so I guess I don't understand those that follow.

Seriously, if your baby is happy, healthy, thriving, and succeeding I don't care what style you use. As long as, you don't judge me for mine, whatever it is called....

Bad Parenting Moment

Don't worry, the cans are empty and the straw was never used but when you look at this pic its just too funny not to laugh at. Just laugh, you know you want to!!
...Taken at a family Redneck themed birthday party. Doesn't my hubby look hawt!!? ;)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mommy Wars: Breast vs Formula

The reason I use the term Mommy Wars is because I find that parenting is such a controversial thing. You wouldn't think it would be, but it is. We all have our opinions of what is acceptable and what isn't and our own are always the right way!

I think I have started to write this blog post several times and didn't really want to know what I wanted to say. I am an advocate for both. I don't want it to be a post whining that I couldn't breastfed and bitching about the negative attitudes towards formula feeding.

This is just such an ongoing battle between moms and society.

Breast is best right? Formula is poison!

Not exactly...

I am an ex-pumping formula feeding mommy...and proud of it!! My preemie daughter spent her first 4 weeks in the NICU. I wasn't there to breastfed 24/7 and she never learned to latch. I was just happy to see her eating on her own I didn't care if it came from a bottle nipple or my own! I exclusively pumped my breast milk and fed it to her through a bottle (or feeding tube in the NICU) until she was 2 months old. She had to be switched to Hypoallergenic formula due to a milk & soy protein allergy. My supply was low and we were using my frozen stash when I ate dairy products so that stash was no longer good and continuing wasn't an option when my supply sunk to nothing.

So yes, I "gave up." I choose what was best for my daughter. Even though I could have tried to get my supply up, the proteins from my breast milk could still effect her even if I went dairy and soy free with my diet.... and it just wasn't worth it. The hypoallergenic formula worked wonders for her and I stuck with it!! And she is thriving!!

I have heard such strong opinions for both sides.

Formula has been compared to feeding babies pizza and Cheetos. Poisoning them with chemicals. Lazy parenting.

Breast is best. It's the best option and so much better for babies. People say this yet they don't want to see it either. Breastfeed your baby but be sure not to do it in public!

Society can't seem to make up their minds. The cringe and judge when they see a mother pull out a bottle and gasp when a mother pulls out her breast. Quite frankly it is none of any one's business what someone feeds their child as long as the child is thriving.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Blog Makeover!!

I must call attention to my new beautiful redesigned blog! It was definitely time for a makeover!

Courtesy of DesignHer Blog. Brooke is a great blog designer so if you looking for a blog makeover, you can contact Brooke: She is running a special in July if you sign up as a follower on her blog!

Thank you Brooke!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

You are so lucky

I think it's very common for women at the end of their pregnancies to be anxious for the pregnancy to be over and their babies born. Not only because they are dying to meet that adorable little person who has been kicking them for 9 months, but because they are so uncomfortable from being fat, swollen, and wobbly.

If you have followed my blog, you know that I went into labor and delivered at 33 weeks pregnant. Without going into the long details as I have already done, my premature baby was not released from the hospital until 4 weeks (29 days) later. She stayed in the NICU and finished growing there instead of in the womb I created for her.

A common discussion amongst mothers or between a new mother and a pregnant mother-to-be are labor stories. When I share that I went into labor & delivered at 33 weeks, a typical reaction is "You are so lucky" then followed by the reasons why I am "so" lucky. These usually range from not having to endure the last 2 months of agonizing pregnancy and being able to be done with it early.

Little do they know that all this makes me want to do if flick them on their pretty little forehead and smack some sense into them. It has come to the point where I literally have to bite my tongue to prevent me from ripping them a new one. Yes, I know these comments come from innocence but they are also extremely ignorant.

This has got to be the most ludicrous way of thinking I have ever come across. It really puts into perspective how little the general public (mothers being the majority of who I speak with about this) knows about the seriousness of premature birth. They have absolutely no idea what it means to have a premature baby. They have no idea what it could mean either.

All they think of is not being pregnant anymore and good that will feel. They don't think about how it will feel to watch their innocent tiny baby fight for its life, they don't think about how it will feel to leave their baby in the hospital day after day.

Women are pregnant for 40 weeks for a reason and it's certainly not to torture the pregnant mother. It's to give the baby the proper amount of time to grow and prepare for the outside world. Consider yourself lucky to make it to full term. Your chances of any complications drop drastically.

Just to be clear, I don't expect every pregnant mother to be on the edge of their seats the entire pregnancy in fear of premature birth. I only ask that women educate themselves on pregnancy and understand that the longer their baby stays in, the better. Never think another women is lucky to have given birth early, just thank your lucky stars it didn't happened to you.