Friday, February 13, 2009

A Story of a Miscarriage

The true reason I started this blog was to give myself some self-therapy. Writing things out can be such a huge outlet and it worked wonders for me. At first i didn't share this blog with anyone, but then I decided I shouldn't keep it a secret. So I exposed my raw emotions for anyone to see and it was quite liberating.

It has been over a year since I lost my first little one. I thought I would re-post my story in a condensed version. So here it goes....

In October of 2007 my husband & I jumped on the TTC (trying to conceive) wagon. To our surprise we got a pregnant on the 1st try! We were so excited and told EVERYONE! Myspace bulletins and everything!

For Thanksgiving (I was almost 7 weeks) I went to Oregon and on my trip back I noticed I was spotting pink. Trying not to worry as spotting can be "normal" I only told my husband and my mom. The next day at work it stopped but then came back. I called my OB (whom I hadn't even seen yet, 1st apt wasn't until 10 weeks) and was told it was "normal" but since it stopped and come back, to go home and put my feet up.

I went home, lay down on the couch and only budged to pee. Although, it just kept coming more and more. Finally I called my OB again and was told to go to the ER since it was after hours. After a few hours, we were there and I was taken in for an ultrasound. They wouldn't let my husband come for some reason. The tech was silent, looking around on the screen. I could barely see and what I could I had no idea what I was looking at. But I saw the tech type on the bottom "Not 7 weeks" I saw some measurements on the side that was saying around 6 weeks but still being told nothing.

The ER doc came in afterwards and told me that there was no heartbeat detected but it could still be too early and to call my OB within the next few days. I was given the awful "Threatened Miscarriage" info.

I got into my OB the next day. He confirmed it. My baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks 4 days when I should have been 7 weeks 3 days. I was devastated. We had to break the news to everyone. I felt like such a failure. I had a D&C a few days later.

We were given the green light to TTC after my 1st period. We started trying the first cycle and again pregnant on the 1st try!! Of course all the fears and anxiety came. Had an ultrasound at 6w1d, baby measured 5w4d, no heartbeat detected. My heart sunk and I freaked out. I was set up to come back a week later. I was convinced it was over. But a week later I saw a flickering heartbeat and the baby measured right on time at 7w1d.

My pregnancy was pretty smooth. No spotting at all but a few streaks of red blood at 19w but was nothing (a L&D trip to be monitored and checked). Although my water broke at 33w3d. It was a full rupture so there was no turning back.

My daughter was born healthy and breathing on her own on 8.19.2008. She weighed 5lbs 12oz and was 18 inches long. She was in the NICU for 29 days. Her only issue was feeding intolerance which ended up due to anemia. As soon as her anemia was treated, she was eating fine and out in 4 days.

She is now healthy, thriving and beautiful!

If you are interested in reading the raw emotions, click HERE. These are blogs related to my miscarriage. The ones at the very end are during the period of time I considered myself in a black hole while mourning my pregnancy loss. Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

Helen said...

Hello Meghan,

I came across your blog while I was randomly googling prengancy info- I know brave. Reading your words brings my experience with miscarriage back to me. I had two in a row in 07/08. My first was also in OCt 07. Thanksgiving. We were hosting a dinner at our house and I had to cancel it. I remember standing at the sink bawling while taking apart the turkey to freeze it. (couldn't go to waste!!)
(Now I now have a sweet and healthy daughter who has changed my world).
I thought I was over the miscarriages, but now I am pregnant again (only 7 wks), the emotions start to surface, especially reading about your ER experience. I had almost the exact same experience with my miscarriages- sitting in the ER- no heartbeat, etc. AWFUL. It is demoralising and unethical for an emotionally distraught women to have to sit for hours bleeding and crying in the waiting room. Where I am from, pregnant women under 20 weeks have limited options in such a situation.

I am glad things worked out for you and your little girl is lovely. Thanks for writing.
Take care,