Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Life after loss

This is a roller coaster ride I am tired of being on. One day I feel great....wait one MOMENT I feel great and then suddenly I come crashing down. I think everything is going to keep going up and then I fall apart.

I talked about my miscarriage today with my assistant. I didn't get teary eyes, I didn't go into my office and cry afterwards. Great. I am on the road to recovery. As the day goes on (without any talk of it) I get more and more depressed. Randy and I go to Walmart to get some shopping done. Here we are strolling down the juice aisle. I am trying to find the juice I like and then I hear it. A new baby crying. And there it is......5 feet away. I look at Randy "that's just what need to hear." I try so hard to ignore and act like I don't hear it, like its not echoing through my head. My heart sinks. We are on the chip aisle now and I want to cry. I bite my lip. I turn around to leave the aisle and here we are....facing the baby aisle with crib set ups. WHY??

I know its going to take time. Sooner or later this will get better.

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