Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Female Envy

Female envy takes so many difference forms. Actually, envy itself comes in many forms. Female envy is in a category of its own. It's practically a phenomenon.

Every human being feels jealously over something at some point in their lives, for some on a daily basis. I definitely feel envious of a lot of things.

Females handle this emotion so differently then men (naturally) but what gets me the most is when female envy brings out the very worst in some women. A woman can go from a heartfelt, compassionate woman to a fire-breathing, rip-your-throat-out devil woman. I know a few women like this.

It really peeves me that this type of emotion warrants such ridiculous behavior. The malicious intent behind reactions caused by female envy are amazing. Let the she-bitch out and there is no turning back.

Women can be so competitive. Everything amongst our species seems to be a giant competition. Who has the biggest boobs, who has the smallest measurement, who has the cutest boyfriend. You name it. We all do it. Every woman has had her she-bitch moments.

I think some women can handle their inner she-bitch better than others. Of course for any women, the she-bitch takes over eventually and all hell breaks loose. What irritates me the most is when the she-bitch takes control over a women's entire emotional well-being to the point where the inner she-bitch is now just a bitch.

I can be jealous and genuinely happy for someone at the same time. I have never been the type to allow the inner she-bitch to take control unless it's totally appropriate (of course I'd be lying if I said I have never let her get out of control! ha). If a women is prettier than me then I just stare at her more and I won't refuse to befriend her because she's prettier than me. I won't put her under a microscope and point out every flaw just to make myself feel better (unless she is just an utter bitch, but then she deserves it). <--- See! Female Envy right there!! ha!

There was this girl in High School, we will call her Mary, who absolutely hated me. I never so much as had a conversation with her that was more than a simple "Hello" yet she couldn't stand me. I never understood it but I also never questioned her. It really didn't make much of a difference to me but it always puzzled me how Mary could hate me so much even though she didn't know a thing about me.

About 2 years out of high school I ran into Mary at a random house party with people I would never think she would know (small world). Mary immediately said Hello in such a joyful manner I actually turned around to see if she was talking to someone behind me. No one was there. I was so confused. She asked all about myself, wanted to know what I have been doing since graduation, etc. Not wanting to be rude, I answered her.

She continues to talk to me as if we were old best friends. Finally, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I asked her (I think these are close to my exact words) "Why are you talking to me? You hated me in high school and now you are talking to me like we are old friends." I said it tactfully because I wasn't angry, just confused by her friendliness.

Mary admitted to me that she didn't like me in high school because a guy who she had a big crush on would go on and on about how much he liked me and how pretty he thought I was. She said it made her hate me because he didn't think of her that way and she couldn't stand when he and his friends would gock over me. I was surprised by her honesty & she seemed genuinely embarrassed by her behavior.

This baffled me. I couldn't believe she would treat me in such a manner all because of a boy who liked me. And ironically, I had no idea who the guy was. I couldn't even begin to picture a face because the name didn't even sound remotely familiar. Her jealously prevented us from becoming friends or even acquaintances. I just couldn't understand. When I dislike people, it's usually for a valid reason and not solely based on someones looks or others fondness of someones appearance.

There are people in my life now, who act similar to Mary even in their adulthood. I wonder what drives this. Drives females to be so hateful of each other. I have heard countless times women describe themselves as someone who doesn't get along with females. Usually "catty,""bitches," or "drama" is followed for an explanation.

Although female envy exists in every female...even me. This must be one of life's rhetorical questions. Ask all you want but you will never get an answer.

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