Saturday, August 9, 2008

My Original EDD came and went

July original EDD. It came quicker than I expected and passed quickly too. Surprisingly, I did a lot better than I thought. It was hard to think tat I should have a newborn right now but I am so excited to be having Hailey, it drowns out the sorrow. Many may feel that since I am pregnant again, I shouldn't be sad anymore.....those people have obviously never been through this.

My grandmother told a story the other day of her friend who placed a memorial bench in a cemetery and had a plaque (amongst others for other family members) made for the miscarriage she suffered 52 years back. My grandma made fun of her friend. Not understanding why she would do such a thing. I don't think she realized what she was saying....and that she said it in front of me. Without thinking I responded "It stays with you for the rest of your life" and then the tears came. i didn't mean to cry and I didn't even feel the urge to. But it goes to show that there are a lot of people that still and never will get the pain that goes along with this. It's looked upon as a fluke, "better luck next time" sort of thing. Those have obviously never experienced this.

I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. The thought of always having the carry this around. Next time I get pregnant and go to the doctor they will ask what # pregnancy this is. It will be my 3rd....but only my 2nd child. Even now, when taking those false alarm trips to L&D. My 2nd pregnancy.....1st child. When asked what surgeries I have had... I get to write down D&C. I have been asked...from an abortion or miscarriage. WOW will some assume I had an abortion? Great. Just what I need.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for keeping this blog even though you are pg. I naively thought that everything WOULD be better when we get pg the next time (miscarried for the 1st time almost 3 weeks ago-1st pg). As strange as it sounds, it is nice to know that the memories are always with you. Congratulations on your little one and thanks for keeping the blog up. Kristin